Penultimate

Penultimate: A new freedom emerges

After graduation, freedom is the name of the game. At least that’s what I’m hoping for.

Coming to college, I perceived it to be an institution of freedom. Sure, I’m still in school, still have homework, still have papers to write, but I’m not at home. In fact, I’m 3,102 miles away from it. Away from my friends, my family, my cat. This is the most freedom I’ve ever tasted.

Now as a senior, I’m still pining for freedom. The cynical side of me knows that freedom is something I’ll always be pining for. I, as well as every other college student, will have student loans to embrace after graduation, another form of entrapment to which we are constant prisoners. Nevertheless, no longer having any papers to write or assignments will sure feel like a cool breeze on a mid-summer night.

I’ll have time to write. I’ll have time to read whatever books I want to read. I’ll have time to pursue what I really want to pursue. Most undergraduates probably sound the same; we all probably sound unrealistically optimistic. Our families are excited for us, but there might be a degree of concern in the linings of their stomachs as well. Aspiring to be a full-time writer, I know for a fact that my parents are a little uneasy about my future.

Of course, there’s a real part of me that’s terrified for what happens after graduation, but there’s an even bigger part of me that’s starving for that freedom. I’ve spent the last four years in dorm rooms and attending chapel.  I’m looking forward to see what I can do without my professors’ guidance. (If you haven’t been able to tell already, I am a big fan of “Dead Poets Society.”)

One of the most exciting things about graduating college is that I have no idea what I’m doing next. Letting God be in control of my future, the possibilities are endless. Talk to me a week after I graduate, and maybe I’ll have a different word to give you besides “freedom.” Maybe the word will be “terror” or “disappointment,” although I don’t think so.

Freedom is the name of the game, and I can’t wait to play it.

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