The Hungarian breaks the taboo about her sister’s suicide: “I want to pay tribute and give visibility to the family members, tell them that they are not alone, that I know what it feels like”

There is not a single moment of its brand new documentary in which the singer Sonia María Priego Bárbarabetter known as The Hungarianpronounce the word suicide. Nor any moment in which, during an interview with this newspaper on the occasion of that same documentary –Take what takeon Mediaset Infinity-, such a word is heard. However, a crucial part of this audiovisual production that shows the lesser-known life of this pioneering flamenco fusion artist focuses on an experience like this: the abrupt loss of a life, in this case the sister of The Hungarian.

It is not strange, actually, but rather common and even usual. Survivors of suicide, like this singer from Almería and her family, often have difficulties expressing certain feelings and assuming certain words that, if they already roar as just a thought, are expected to be infinitely painful to be uttered. Among the main reasons for all of the above, it stands out the stigma that still surrounds those who one day could no longer and, as they say The Hungarian“they decided to leave.”

And that same stigma, that taboo against talking about people who die by suicide, giving such details or masking them, is what makes the step – the leap – of The Hungarian in something especially notable: that a public person speaks openly about suicide – even if he does not utter such a word, because he simply cannot – manages to reduce the negative social footprint that accompanies this type of experience. Yeah The Hungarian speaks about it, many of those who follow his artistic career will think, I can well speak too.

«I was afraid, very afraid, of telling about problems in my life that people didn’t know about, or of showing something about myself that people didn’t know.», the artist also confesses in a telephone interview. Being that she is so local, so close to her audience, as is also seen in the documentary, The Hungarian He continued to retain within him the details of the death of his sister, who died on Christmas Eve 2018. Seven years of silence between that day and this moment.

«I have always been very transparent, in all interviews. I have told my life, that at 15 years old I became pregnant, with all the naturalness in the world, but this time I was afraid because I was going to tell things that I had never told before,” she continues, in a talk in which she will talk about her entire family, not just the sister she is now missing. “It was about showing my feelings, those that I had hidden there, saved, and I was a little worried that people knew things about me that I hid and kept for myself, only for me,” he elaborates.

Now that the documentary is available, that everything has been said, the artist says that “There has not been anyone who has not told him that he has not cried watching the episodes”. There are three of them and in all of them there are two things that are not missing: the entire family of The Hungarian -children, niece, mother, grandchildren, uncles- and lots and lots of music. And it is in the last of them where more things are revealed: Sonia’s new opening towards her own experiences, and also the creations that have emerged since her sister died. And it was time to share.

«It is ugly for me to say it but it is like that, they tell me ‘how beautiful’ or ‘how emotional’, and not just one person but many, many. The other day, for example, an acquaintance I have at the supermarket where I shop, where she works, was discussing it with another colleague. I told him: ‘Don’t miss it because you’re going to love it, I’m tired of crying and I’ve already seen it twice.’

And the same woman, at that moment, later addressed The Hungarian to say: «Give me a hug. Because since I have seen this documentary I no longer see you with the eye that I saw you before. “Now I see you with another eye, with more affection.”

This artist therefore feels that having challenged her own taboo, which even had a family nature, although she was “scared, very afraid”, has not brought her back anything but good.

The question that remains is why he did it, why one day Sonia decides that we have to put words to the silences. “It was something that was covered, hidden, and what encourages me to speak is to give visibility to mental health, to which I believe we do not give the importance it deserves,” he says.

«What I have tried with this documentary is to pay a small tribute to my sister but also to all the people who, like her, one day decided that they no longer wanted to be here and, above all, give visibility to family members, tell them that they are not alone, that I have been there too and know what it feels like. Because it is one thing for someone to die, like my father, of old age or due to an illness, and quite another for that person to decide to leave. “You feel… you feel… that you can’t do anything…” he reflects.

And yet he has done: an audiovisual production where, more than anything else, good love emerges.that of a family that continues to use music as a form of expression and common enjoyment. Even the grandchildren of The Hungarian They sing, even though they are very small. But this will be another story, perhaps another documentary. Just one more fact: the moment in one of the episodes, in which Sonia chats with her sister’s daughter while she fixes her nails, is beautiful.