She lived through “hell” as a teenager because she didn’t understand her identity, in a trajectory of suffering that Nuria believes could have been different if the 2018 law on self-determination of gender identity had already existed at the time.
Born and raised in a neighborhood on the outskirts of Lisbon, Núria Rosa reminded Lusa of a childhood made of silence and confusion. “I didn’t know what it was. I thought it was an effeminate homosexual”, he said, remembering the lack of references and information about gender identity or trans people.
The suffering started early. At the age of 6 or 7, he realized that he identified with his sister’s feminine universe, but quickly learned that this feeling was not accepted. At school, from the fifth year onwards, rejection turned into physical and psychological violence. “They beat me, made me wait, called me names”, he reported.
Without support, he adopted a survival strategy: becoming aggressive to avoid being targeted. “I started to be someone I wasn’t in order to exist,” he said. Even so, his school career was marked by early dropout.
At the age of 16, after her first relationship with a boy, she attempted suicide. “I didn’t feel comfortable with what I thought I was,” he explained. A psychiatric hospitalization followed, at a time when, he highlighted, he continued to not understand his own identity.
It wasn’t until she was 17, when she entered a nightclub in Lisbon and saw other trans women, that she found a mirror. “I realized: this is who I am.” The next day, he came out. Shortly afterwards, she was kicked out of the house by her mother.
“My life began on the margins”, he summarized. With no alternatives, she entered prostitution and lived for years without stability, using hormones without medical supervision, after a negative experience in the hospital. “They said aggressive things to me. I never went back.”
For years, she lived between the feminine name she expressed and the masculine name that appeared in the documents.
The legal change of name, in 2017, before the entry into force of law no. 38/2018, was a turning point. “I gained another spirit. It’s the least: being able to be who we are”, he stated.
Still, he believes that, if the law had already existed when he was a teenager, the path would have been different. “I hadn’t attempted suicide, I hadn’t dropped out of school, I hadn’t lived on the outskirts for 20 years,” he said. “I would have had a completely different life.”
For psychologist and sexologist Sara Falcato, a specialist in LGBTI+ issues, stories like Núria’s illustrate the importance of gender self-determination and the legal framework. “Law 38/2018 is in line with scientific evidence and protects people, especially young people”, he considered.
According to the expert, the lack of recognition and support increases the risk of anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation among trans people, especially during adolescence, a phase marked by greater vulnerability.
“What causes suffering is not identity, but stigma, discrimination and the lack of an adequate response”, he explained, warning that removing rights or creating barriers in access to care can significantly worsen the mental health of this population.
Sara Falcato highlighted that the possibility of using one’s social name and accessing affirmative care from an early age is crucial to well-being. “Forcing young people to experience a puberty they don’t recognize is deeply violent,” he said.
In a context of political debate on these issues, the psychologist warned of the direct impact on people’s lives: “Just discussing the withdrawal of rights already generates fear and insecurity. We are talking about concrete lives.”
For the expert, the debate on the PSD, Chega and CDS bills, which intend to amend or revoke law 38/2018, was “scandalous”, arguing that the parties’ proposals go against scientific knowledge and good practices in the matter, therefore representing “a setback”.
For Sara Falcato, these initiatives ignore the accumulated evidence and risk compromising fundamental rights already enshrined.
The psychologist also warned of the direct and serious consequences in the lives of trans people that the approval of these projects could have, namely the worsening of mental health, the increase in stigma and the removal from health services.
“We are talking about measures that can increase suffering, isolation and the risk of suicide”, he highlighted, arguing that legal protection is essential to guarantee dignity and safety.
It is in this scenario that March 31 marks Trans Visibility Day, a date that, for Núria, represents more than symbolic recognition. “It’s giving a voice to those who suffered like me,” he said.
Today, at 36 years old, he continues to face challenges, but he refuses to remain silent. “It’s not for me, it’s for the next generations,” he said. “So that no child has to go through what I went through.”
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