The story of the young Spanish woman who asked for help to die is devastating, not only because of the outcome, but because of the path of suffering that preceded it. For years, he lived with chronic pain, irreversible damage, and traumatic memories. She was institutionalized in her early adolescence, in a space that should have been one of protection, care and security. However, it was precisely within this institution that he suffered a group sexual assault – a brutal act that destroys not only the body, but also confidence, identity and relationship with the world. From then on, his life became a fight for survival, with several failed suicide attempts. All this before reaching the extreme point of asking to die.
Despite the complexity and gravity of this story, much of the public discussion has focused almost exclusively on the legitimacy – or otherwise – of euthanasia. As if that were the only question. As if everything else was secondary. But there are much harder, much more uncomfortable questions that are rarely asked.
How did we let someone get here? What structural flaws allowed a vulnerable teenager to be raped within the institution that was supposed to protect her? What type of specialized medical and psychological support did you receive after the attack? Did you have continuity of care? Did you have a support network that validated and supported you? Or was it just another young woman left adrift, trying to survive alone something that no one should face without help? And when did you try to commit suicide?
A suicide attempt is always a cry, a cry for help, a sign that the pain has exceeded all limits. What happened next?
The question no one wants to ask is this: what could we have done to prevent this young woman from reaching the point of wanting to die?
Because this story isn’t just about euthanasia. It’s about deep systemic failures. We failed in institutional protection. We fail to prevent sexual violence. We fail to respond immediately to trauma. We failed to provide continuity of care. We failed in public mental health. We failed to protect a young woman who screamed for years without anyone really hearing her. We failed as a society.
We need accessible and free specialized trauma teams, immediate psychological intervention after sexual assaults, continuous rather than episodic monitoring, rigorous supervision of institutions that shelter children and young people, training of professionals to recognize signs of risk and danger, and public policies that treat mental health as a priority.
Above all, we need a society that does not normalize silent suffering.
When someone asks to die, the most pressing question is not: “Should we allow it?” The most pressing question is: “How did this person get to a point where living became unbearable?” And, above all: “What can we do so that no one else gets here?”
Because the real discussion is not about death.
It’s about everything that failed in life.
Clinical and forensic psychologist, family and couples therapist
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