DEAR ABBY: I am an older woman in great shape. I am active and have never had a problem attracting men. Five years ago I married a man I had known for many years. We had a pretty active sex life, but it’s been four years since he touched me intimately. He says he doesn’t know why, and that it’s because of a lack of trust.
I’m afraid that if I don’t leave, I’ll never know the loving arms of a man around me. Otherwise, we get along well, but as time has progressed, I no longer find him attractive. If he made a move today I think I would have turned it down because there have been too many injuries.
Financially, leaving would be a disaster. Our friends and family think we are a great couple, but no one knows the truth. I feel like I’m sinking into the swamp with each long, lonely day. Please advise. — UNTOUCHED IN COSTA RICA
DEAR NO TOUCHING: Before you sink further into depression, I urge you to discuss this with your doctor and get a referral to a licensed psychotherapist. Don’t make any hard decisions about your marriage until you feel better. I don’t know what caused my husband’s problem. Neither do you, and possibly neither does he.
Does your husband realize how strongly you feel and that you are seriously considering leaving? If not, would he be willing to explore possible solutions and possibly heal your relationship? And finally, if so, would you be willing to try again? I know I’m giving you more questions than answers, but it’s worth considering.
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