Sheba says it in her latest ad… But is your cat really ignoring you?

He approaches, rubs himself… then disappears without a glance. For many, the verdict is clear: the cat would be distant, even indifferent. According to a study carried out for the Sheba brand, this month of April, 64% of people surveyed are convinced that their cat ignores them. But for specialists, the problem lies elsewhere. “The basic question is poorly posed”tranche behaviorist and cat specialist Sonia Paeleman. And this 64% says one thing above all: “specific expectations” to which the animal does not respond.

Same observation from the veterinarian and specialist in pet behavior medicine, Emmanuel Gaultier: “We are the ones who have demands that are disproportionate to what the cat is able to give.” In other words, what is perceived as indifference often stems from a discrepancy between what the human expects and what the cat is capable of offering… or simply willing to offer.

A cat is not a dog

According to our experts, the heart of the problem lies in a shaky comparison with dogs, when they are “two very different species”recalls Emmanuel Gaultier. The dog, like the human, is a “social species” ; the cat is “a territorial species”. He can live alone without this generating any shortage. This character trait changes everything in its relationship with humans: the feline first remains attached to its environment, to its landmarks, to its intimacy. The animal may seek contact, but only at certain times, without a constant need for recognition. Hence this impression of “getting caught in the wind” regular, explains Emmanuel Gaultier.

Added to this is often incorrect reading of the signals. A cat on its back does not necessarily call for caressing, but can adopt a defensive posture. A purr can indicate well-being… or stress if the feline has dilated pupils, for example. A rub can be affiliative or serve to reassure oneself. “We cannot rely only on a few isolated elements”, insists Sonia Paeleman, author of the reference book Understanding your cat (Ed. L’Opportun). It is the entire context that gives meaning to behavior.

“A feline is made to be looked at”

According to our two specialists, humans therefore impose a rhythm and interactions that do not correspond to the needs of the cat. To want “get” more affection from the cat is often the best way to damage the relationship: “The more solicitous we are, the more we take the risk of being unwelcome and that the animal flees”warns Sonia Paeleman. Thus, the Sheba brand, which is launching the challenge “from indifference to adoration” in its latest campaign, assuring owners that they will create a bond with their cat in just seven days, is likely to see its consumers balk…

“A feline is made to be looked at, it’s not made to be caressed”summarizes Emmanuel Gaultier. Taking Felix in his arms, waking him up, fiddling with him constantly, insisting when he withdraws, etc., are all requests which can, according to experts, create stress, avoidance, or even more visible problems such as elimination outside the litter box or aggressiveness.

It’s not the animal that needs to change, it’s us.

A thought therefore for the 38% of cat owners in France who admit, according to the study carried out for Sheba, to having tried to speak the “language of cats” to obtain more affection, these 32% who went so far as to imitate his behavior (purring, slow blinking of the eyes) to attract his attention. Or those 2% who say they got their cat tattooed as a token of love (and in the hope of being loved in return).

And Sonia Paeleman concludes, cleaver style: “It’s not the animal that needs to change, it’s us.” We should therefore observe Tigger more, let him take the initiative in bringing people together, respect his moments of withdrawal… at the cost, sometimes, of a little frustration. But with, as a result, fewer but much more qualitative interactions.