Dearest Snow,
It is extremely hard for me to admit this, but I’m just going to say it: I feel like our friendship has been falling apart lately.
Things used to go so smoothly between us. Every once in a while you would cover ENC in your fluffy, icy goodness, persuade Jeff Kirksey to send that glorious class cancellation email, thus granting me more time for Netflix binges—I mean—catching up on homework.
In turn, I would happily shovel you, make snowmen with you, have snowball fights and build igloos with you.
I always used to say I wish would show up more often, but I think you may have interpreted this a bit too strongly. You have been stopping by an awful lot this winter. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I just need you to give me a little space.
I love your snow days, I really do, but lately it’s getting a bit ridiculous. I have forgotten what a five-day school week is like. I have caught myself using the words “Monday” and “snow day” interchangeably. And most terrifyingly, I am beginning to wonder if my intelligence is decreasing from lack of classes.
But Snow, your new behavior is not only affecting me; the people around us have gotten rather impatient with you too. The snow shoveling crew (bless their souls) have been working grueling hours to keep up with your antics (though on the bright side, they must be making a fortune). I’m pretty sure Jeff Kirksey is getting irritated constantly sending out the same email over and over. I can’t even imagine how the commuters feel, those who have basically been making death-defying ten-hour quests through your icy streets just to get here for class each day.
Not to mention the professors, who now have to completely renovate their syllabi to adhere to your schedule (that is, except for Dr. Shetler, who has somehow managed to hold A Cappella rehearsals during those few half-day blocks).
Please hear me out, Snow, because I would hate to leave you behind in search of warmer climates. Though, my car is completely encompassed in you, so I’m stuck here either way. If you want to save our friendship, all I ask is a little distance. You really are delightful, but maybe consider holding off a bit, at least until next winter.
Your Friend, RJ